Roof Update

With help from our good friend/neighbor Pete and my Dad(who drove an hour early Sat morning to make sure everything was OK) - I felt much better going to work.

It leaked into the bucket all day. The plaster actually got so damp/wet- it started peeling from my ceiling. The crack goes across one whole side of the ceiling and is starting to form an L shape at the moment.

The roofer who was on vacation in NH finally got our messages and called us back. He's going to be back by on Monday to straighten everything out.

Initially- I felt very ALONE. But after thinking about it- It's true Joe isn't here- but Pete came right over to help me sweep the water off the roofs. He also took pictures ( that hopefully we won't need ). My dad raced over here to make sure ( as my mom put it )his little girl's roof didn't cave in.

I'm okay. It's just a roof. No one got hurt.
My husband and I are healthy, happily married and this is just a small bump in the road.... in my road. It will pass.

Oh and Stephanie is home- Yipppeee. She's not allowed to go on any more family vacations when the boys are deployed! I missed her too much. Welcome Back Stephanie!

drip...drip...drip

OK, New roof done - Or so I thought...

Rain storm......7am...drip drip drip. I jump out of bed and go flying into our office to see our ceiling start to crack with water dripping at a very fast pace.

Are you serious ( What I actually said...) before dialing my parents. the roofer(left a message) and Pete(the neighbor).

Now...I have a bucket... and towels...and I'm just over this whole thing.

I'm getting ready for work- hoping that while I am the dripping doesn't change spots or drip faster(due to rain) then it already is...because I can't save my stuff....because.. I'll be at work..

*SIGH*

LUCKY

\


Ugh. How perfect is this.

One of our good friends Brandy emailed me to tell me this song remindedr her of us. Thank you Brandy.

God I miss him.....so very much.

A very sad Samantha who should be in bed....

silence.....

As the boat gets underway and "goes under the sea" into many weeks of silence(no communication in or out), I wonder if Joe and I enter this reality of NO CONTACT on common ground. It's so wonderful and horrible to talk to him in port. Wonderful because you miss then so much and hearing their voice warms your heart and horrible because it's just a reminder that you're not together and you miss them so much. For Joe and I - Making CHIEF was an amazing accomplishment. But everything amazing comes with a price.

The price?
-While I watched friends talk to their husbands for hours- there was no skype for us in this port. Every conversation was limited. There were spans of days we didn't get to talk
-A very tired and depressed Joe for EVERY conversation. Me attempting to console him (Although when I told him he was wimp- I don't think that attempt was a positive one)

Every conversation we had during this port seemed to consist of us struggling to understand how the other person is coping with deployment... struggling to support each other emotionally... struggling to find the right words. One big struggle after another.

One thing we have learned during deployment is that I'll always be upset and overwhelmed by Joe's lack of emotions when he's at sea. Joe will always be angry and overwhelmed by my abundance of emotions while he's at sea (or anytime in our life). Joe tries to explain that when he's at sea- there is a lot of pressures at work and it's hard for him to switch from work Joe to husband Joe so quickly. I tell him that I feel overwhelmed with all of the daily tasks that come with two homes and two careers(mine and his) and I NEED him to express his feelings and love for me- it's what keeps me together and feeling like there is a purpose to all of this.

During our last conversation... I sniffled.. "Don't you need me?....Aren't I helping?" EWWWW. I hate women like that. But mostly- I hate me like that. I'm independent. I owned a home before Joe. I traveled around the world before Joe. I shouldn't care if he needs me. I shouldn't WANT him to need me. Eww. Ewww. Eww. He gave some lame answer- which just made me feel more out of sorts for saying it. Yuck. I shudder thinking about it. When I feel those things and then worse- verbalize them- I immediately feel weak and worthless. What kind of Navy wife am I?Why would I put pressure on him to give me an answer to something as silly as that..And why can't I keep my big mouth shut until after this chief season is over? Why do I have to be so sensitive?

And then...after I "storm" about it- The calm comes. I've grown up these last few years. I don't need to be super independent all the time anymore. I'm part of a team now. My team is strong and united by marriage. Joe (my choice for team member) is my best friend. My life partner. My lover. Good news: He picked me as his team member which means I'm all the above to him too. Of course it matters to me that he can feel comfortable leaning on me(a form of needing). Of course I care if he takes my advice. Of course I'm hurt when he doesn't mention all the packages I sent. Those things aren't silly. He's my team mate. He's the first person I want to talk to every morning and the last person I want to talk to before bed. He knows my secrets. He loves my imperfections. He truly loves me for me. He's my husband. Those feelings are OK.

So- my ego may be a little deflated- for needing and wanting someone as much as I need and want Joe. My pride is cowering at the thought that sometimes *gasp* I too need reassurance. But- My heart doesn't feel bad at all. I should miss my husband. He's amazing. He works hard. He's going to be pinned a chief at 8.5 years mid September. He's committed to me and our future family. He calls me monkey. He cuddles. He knows when I need space. He understands my desire to succeed. He makes me laugh. He gets his eyebrows waxed because I ask him too. He NEVER complains EVER if I want something. He still opens doors and pulls out chairs. He will eat mashed potatoes every night if that is what I want. He painted a bathroom purple just for me.

He loves me- even if he doesn't always know how to say it. I know it.
.... for today anyway :)

xoxo
Samantha

Yummy Taco's

So- Taco night went fine. Robin helped me prepare my meal ( Taco's with the fixings and corn muffins! )- And it all turned out wonderfully.

It's really amazing to have such a great "sub" family. And even greater to have such great friends from before my "sub life" who do their best to understand and love Joe and I for the crazy military life we have. At one point I looked around at all the different faces laughing at each other and just smiled. I've known a few of them for 8+ years and a few I only met a few months ago- but the group really bonded and there were a lot of great stories and laughs. And babies. That's when you know you're getting old- when you get to invite babies. Chloe and Alvin didn't bond like we wanted- but we can still try to get them together at a later date!

I cherish the nights I can relax a little and just enjoy my girls. I know I am blessed to have such great bonds with quite a few fantastic women.

Thank-you!
xoxo
Samantha

Chatting.... YAY

It's not like our hours on skype- but I'll take the 1 hour chat I got today. It was so nice to hear him joke around with me. I told him I was having TACO night at the house tonight ( Can't wait to see everyone! )- and he asked me if I was ordering from TACO Bell. I'm not known to be the best cook- ha/ha - Anyway, it was so funny... to hear him be funny.

Things are going better for him. He's having fun getting involved with all of the chief selectee's in Bahrain.

We talked about just about everything from moldy rugs to an upcoming trip I may take to visit him. Our final decision- I'm 99% going. This is a once in a life time opportunity to see him get off the sub as a chief for the first time during a port visit during deployment. It should be only the first or second time since he will have gotten pinned that he will be in chief attire off the sub. It's very exciting- and hey...money is only money right?

Oh- and having babies. We talked about that! My husband has a way with words...when I asked when he thought we should start having kids(now that we know he will be on shore duty next year) He said, " Well we should be popping out a kid soon". Well that's romantic Joe! LOL - Actually he claims he's going to fall more in love with me when I have my cute pregnant belly. We talked about trying during the port visit- but he wants to witness every minute of my growing belly- How cute is that?!

Ahh..Life feels good today!
Samantha

Laughter....

I haven't heard my husband REALLY laugh until today. When he's home, he's a total goofball. He's always laughing and always trying to make me laugh. We spend most of our days together laughing. It's his favorite way to start the day and the best way to end any of our fights. It's what we do. It's one of the things I love most about him. He finds the humor in any situation. I was starting to get worried that this transition had taken his laughter away....until today. Finally. Sweet..Sweet laughter. Big belly laughs. Even a few giggles snuck into our conversation. He deserves to laugh. I'd miss his smiles if they went away.... They light up every room we're in together- especially when they are directed at me.

Now I can sleep.
He's okay. He's going to be okay.

My quality of life just improved.
That being said...I'm going to enjoy a small pleasure- a nap.
I think I'll finally be able to close my eyes and not have nightmares....

Finally

Joey called me this afternoon. He ( who never says sorry ) apoligized about a gazillion times. He said he just didn't have the time or energy to find a phone again after the first phone call.

Chief training really has him busy. He had to run around and meet other chiefs from the other boats. He has PT very early in the morning. And he had to buy a new uniform to "train" in since they where camo's in Bahrain. And this isn't a liberty port- it's a working port. So this is on top of work. He's at his limit.

Thanks for listening- and all the emails/calls that following this post.

Samantha

Note:(late addition) Oh- and I forgot to mention- he didn't have much to say about the roof or other misc things I got "left" with. He just kept saying he understands why I'm upset- and he wish he could go back in time to change them because the last thing he wanted to ever do was make me upset.
My answer: *sniffle* You SHOULD be sorry.

How much longer until he get back? .... AND to think two weeks ago- I was like, yeah- deploy again- that sounds great. At this moment. I wouldn't do it for 100k. I can't wait for him to be back. I just want him to wrap his arms around me and mimic my two year old request... hold me.

feeling angry....

As I dealt with soggy boxes...roofers...and cleaning... I waited and waited for my husband to call me.

And waited.

Cleaned...and waited. I even got up on our roof with one roofer!

By the end of the day- knowing the time difference in Bahrain... I knew I wouldn't get a call. Luckily- I had one friend who also didn't - Kelly - and her husband(like mine) is very very good about communication.

I didn't sleep because I still thought- he'll email me. He'll DO something.

On my way to work this morning.... I turn on my cell phone ( I don't get service at or around my house ) and see a voicemail. I roll my eyes thinking Mom was up early this morning checking on me. But no. Voicemail is from my husband.

On Monday when we talked - I told him that Tuesday would be my first day off in weeks. He can't possibly be so self absorbed- that he forgot. He lives in that house ( he's never there- but he DOES live there so he knows we don't get cell phone service ) - AND even if he didn't know or didn't remember that was the FUCKING best he could do? Call my cell phone once?

Oh- and the reason we need to replace out roof ( Which is happening on Tuesday ) - because my wonderful husband never cleaned out the gutters, or our flat roofs- and everything collected up there...so.... all the rain water, leaves etc pooled up there caving in the middle of TWO flat roofs. We actually have grass and plants growing out of our gutters. Greener grass then on our lawn one roofer joked with my dad. My parents stopped by on their way home from Maryland to meet the roofer I picked and make sure we weren't geting ripped off. I'm lucky to have great family here to help.

*sigh* Now- obviously. He was never taught home maitnence. And the solution is to have a pre-deployment check list. Which now we have. Things to check so your wife doesn't hang herself in the bathroom(Kelly came over to make sure I didn't - thank you!) I don't actually think he's stupid. Or that he would do anything on purpose to make my life difficult- but it certainly doesn't feel like he tried to make sure everything would be OK. I don't feel safe and/or protected. I feel very very angry.

We're going to replace one roof now and one next spring. So monthly- I have to get up there and clean it off, make sure no water is sitting up there. This will ensure the other flat roof makes it until Spring. I'll be looking to borrow ladders this fall and winter.

*sigh*
When does the feeling end. The overwhelming feeling of doom.
I can't do this for 6 months.
I don't even feel like me anymore.

Joe's first Calendar Square

Today is Joe's first calendar square of the deployment! All of the wives calendar squares go up on this big calendar each month and the guys are allowed to take their day down when their day arrives. So- Joe's first one is here!

Thought I would share!
xoxo
Samantha

Are you ready?

Hi Monkey. You ready to stop being mad yet? Because, I'm ready- and it feels so much better not being mad.

LOL. How do you say NO to that? My husband is in port. Whew! He called. Whew! Our email fight is over. Whew!

We finished making our life decision. I finally said... I don't know how tired you are. I don't know what it's like to have 4 deployments in a row. You have to tell me. Money is just Money. We can make more of it. His response: (a very quiet) I'm tired babe. All along- he just wanted it to be OK. Financially- obviously with our re-enlistment bonus- being in a tax free zone would have been best-which would mean going to a boat and deploying. But like I said to him- (and I meant it) - His sanity...our life..and our family is more important then any sum of money. My response: OK, then you're coming home. There was no further conversation about it...but I could tell he was relieved. And I'm actually ( although I may never admit this out loud ) relieved too. To have the decision made. And to have him come home- as deployment was continuing... I was thinking... maybe I shouldn't have told him he could go to a boat...maybe it's time for family time now. In the end- His career is most important- so we could have gone to a boat...BUT...secretly... I'm glad we're not.

So home for shore duty it is. PMT to be exact. Which means we won't lose sea pay-since he'll be going on short underways during the three years. We report in April. He should leave there being VERY knowledgeable about fixing things ( more then he is now ). Hopefully get some more schools under his belt. Maybe finish his BA. And... Oh..yeah: get me pregnant (knock me up didn't have the same ring to it). We should have a busy three years!

I'm a very sensitive but VERY cold person. I get angry way before I cry. But...I have been crying a lot lately. It's been odd. So after a blissful hour of discussion- He tells me it's time for him to go because he has to share the phone he is using. I start crying and say I don't want to share. Joe chuckled. Little does he know...I was serious. *sigh*

Feeling much much much better!
Samantha

pit....

- So far... e-mail drops haven't been helping us in the way of making progress to feeling happier with big decisions or life in general.

The pit in my stomach gets bigger and bigger....

and bigger...and bigger.... and bigger.......

Joey's words....

My card:

Sam,

You are the one who.... Finds my stuff, loves my quirks, takes my side, knows my stories, gets my jokes, finishes my sentences, soothes my worries...the one who makes all my days better. And makes me a better me.

I know I am not good at telling you how important you are to me. I wish I could better explain how much all the things you do mean to me. I love you and it's true what they say... "Behind every good man is a good woman". I don't think you are behind me. You are always right there beside me as my wife and best friend. I love you very much and can't wait to come home to you.

Love J

So.. I know I've been VERY upset- and vented to some of you. And you all have been fantastic with advice, love and support- I shared these words with you- so you could all say.. " told you so! ".

ha-ha.

Thank you everyone. I know it's all okay.
We're okay. E-mail sucks. Deployment sucks.

Our marriage- does not suck- And that's a good thing.
Much love to you all and mostly to Joe- for perfect timing with perfect words.

Continued frustration - with a small light!

Frustration continues.

-Ran out of gas on my way home ( because I took 95 N to RI on accident and didn't know until I got there ) after working 10am-9pm. Thank you Stephanie for saving me!
-Still trying to find a licensed roofer to come look at the roof.
-Yard Sale was successful(thankfully no rain)-but my house is now trashed.
-Still in a delayed email "face off" with Joey. Turns out he never got my not so great e-mails but did get the one where I tried to be nicer and explain myself- Which left him confused, cold and somewhat angry.

Joy.

So- he left me all these cards. They have labels. The only one I have opened is the one that said " open after the sub pulls away". Otherwise- Deployment time has flown by- and I haven't "needed" any cards. I picked... " Open this when you feel like I don't care enough".

It was perfect. 100% what I needed/wanted to hear. Two short paragraphs put my mind at ease. I should have opened it days ago. I'm at work now- but I'll post the exact words later.

Feeling better- but still stressed
Samantha

Overwhelmed

*sigh*

Ever been in an email fight? How about with someone that you CAN'T have an in person or phone conversation with? Throw in the fact that he's going through a difficult time anyway(6 week transition chief training).

*sigh*

Trying to make life decisions about orders(where to go/what to do next in the NAVY) is difficult in real life- in the e-mail world it's even harder. And it's easy to misunderstand what someone is trying to tell you. And add on the stress of bills, mortgages, house leaks, car problems...etc. It's time for a breakdown. But- I can't breakdown- I'm a NAVY wife- I don't have a choice but to continue.

What do I do instead?

Fire back a "not so nice" email. Actually two. I couldn't help myself. I didn't feel better after I sent them. I actually felt bad. So I sent a third trying to explain myself in a much calmer fashion. It's just very frustrating feeling like he's not listening to what I'm trying to say. It's frustrating to feel alone all the time. It's overwhelming doing everything yourself. It's frustrating. Very frustrating balancing and juggling everything. It's hard to be feeling all these things...and going through closets to finish collecting everything for the upcoming Yard Sale and find letters, pictures..etc from the ex-wife. And I know that's the way way long ago past. But it still stings. Call me crazy but- It stings a lot. And then while I was cleaning out the closet- I noticed a damp smell and damp boxes. Yes- A leak. An actual drape in the ceiling. The roof. Just what we need right now. *sigh* I had our neighbor/close friend Pete come by to take a look- and help me move everything out of the room. We just will need to get on the roof this week at some point. I have a fan going to help with the mold.

I'm exhausted. And frustrated (did I mention frustrated?). And hurt.

Mostly. I just hurt right now. Over everything. Which makes me feel stupid because I do angry way better then hurt. Hurt is hard for me.

But... it hurts.

Quote of the day!

Robin sent this to me today. I liked it.
So I'm sharing.


"A Navy Wife is no ordinary woman. Operating for months at a time without the companionship or assistance of her husband, she routinely overcomes challenges that would give the average person a nervous breakdown."
-Jeff Edwards

Note: I also shared this on a website- and got this reply:

I want to add more information because I think the back story is pretty cool. He wanted to do a tribute to his wife for standing by his side during his career, so he wrote and then read this to his wife at his retirement ceremony. Yeah, we stumbled across it while researching retirement ceremonies. Here's the entire 'poem'...

The Navy Wife

A Navy Wife is no ordinary woman. Operating for months at a time without the companionship or assistance of her husband, she routinely overcomes challenges that would give the average person a nervous breakdown.

Part Doctor, part Teacher and part Handyman, she can lavish loving care on a sick toddler, help a teenager with his Algebra homework, and track down a faulty circuit breaker -- all while holding down a full time job.

With thirty minutes notice, she can serve breakfast, lunch, or dinner to fourteen hungry Sailors, and still somehow balance her family's meager grocery budget.

She can press a set of dress whites to inspection standards, tie a perfect square knot in a military neckerchief, and pack a seabag in the cold hours before dawn.

For months at a time, she must settle for letters instead of kisses, emails in place of hugs, and long-distance phone calls in lieu of her husband's touch.

She manages a smile when her Sailor is at sea for the second Anniversary in a row, and accepts the fact that there's a one-in-three chance that he will have to stand Duty on her Birthday. She has learned to stand on a pier and wave goodbye without tears, even when her heart is breaking.

To her children, she is Chauffeur, Umpire, Psychologist, Spiritual Advisor, Financial Consultant, part-time Father, Tooth Fairy, Santa Clause, and the Easter Bunny. To her husband, she is Friend, Lover, Partner, Confidant, and Soul-Mate.

She is a patriot. She is the sort of citizen that all of us should be, but so few of us are. She lives with sacrifice, because she believes in the rights and ideals that her husband defends. Although she wears no uniform, she is a part of that defense -- a vital link in the chain of Freedom. Although she wears no medals and will reap no glory on the field of battle, she is a hero in the truest sense of the word.

She is a Navy Wife.

frustrated.

I've been feeling very frustrated and overwhelmed lately. I can't seem to snap out of it. Nothing really in particular- just a lot of things in a lot of areas in my life.

I miss Joe. No one is as comforting as he is. I have people who come in a very close second thankfully but it's still not the same. I was having a really crappy day yesterday and I swear that the 3 year old I watch knew it. She's not a cuddly kid. She's hilarious but not into snuggles. She's got bigger and better things to do. Not only did I get snuggles....I got.. " I love you mantha's" ALL DAY. Kelly snuck in a cheerful visit and Stephanie was online when I was getting into bed to tell me my feelings were normal. I love Regan, Kelly and Stephanie- but Joe snuggles would have been nice. See.. Me? I'm not hilarious- I'm cuddly!

New schedule starts in a week- Since High School will be starting and I start speaking (YAY) again.

Monday - Girls
Tuesday/Wed - Speaking
Thursday - Girls
Friday- Store/ Sometimes Speaking
Sat - Store (every other)
Sunday - Store

My speaking schedule is already pretty booked up- Which is great. I really love the program in the fall. Nothing else very exciting to report in August. We're ( About ten families ) having a huge yard sale in my yard on Sat the 16th. I'm psyched to try to get rid of the rest of the leftovers from the YARD SALE and the new stuff I've collected.

Joe's still in the transition period(6 weeks) of making Chief. This is a really tough time for him especially because he is the only one on his sub to have made it. He's always in my thoughts. He'll get pinned on/around September 15th on the boat. Normally I would get to pin him-but not when he's on deployment. I just hope they take some good pictures. I can't wait for him to get pinned. I'm making the cutest announcements in the world to send out!

Well- that's the update for now!
Samantha

Decisions/Decisions....

*sigh*


Email from Joe about where we go from here...

PMT billet opens Apr 09. He needs to submit a 1306/7 for a Mar 09 xfr and I
will have the detailer pencil him in. Subschool billets are an option, but
from my perspective PMT keeps him involved on the waterfront (which is
better for him). So shore duty in Groton is not a problem.

That is what they said to me in an email about billets. I already talked to the COB and the guy who talks to detailers here. COB talked to me about going to another boat and I told him I would have to talk to you about it. It's more career enchancingand it would put me in a position to re-enlist tax free. It also would BE a short sea tour only about 24 months or so. I wanted to know what you think we should do. It would be be me being gone for longer since any boat I go to will be deploying soon if I had to guess. I am tired though so I am not sure that would be the best thing. Not to mention it would mean putting our lives on hold for another two years or so and that's not a choice I am willing to make without talking to you. Not sure with the houses and thoughts to have kids soon... It maybe makes more sense to go to sea and set us up better financially. I want to come home and be with you Monkey but it may be better for our family not to do that just yet. But man does that suck. Some thing to think about.

Did I mention *sigh* There goes my plans for shore duty...

Basically I told him I would support whatever he wants to do.
It's so frustrating making life decisions on email.

It's very overwhelming.
I'm exhausted.

GREAT CPO lists

Joe had to write this for his charge book:

Ten reasons why I will be a GREAT Chief Petty Officer
1. I will receive great training
2. Have the support of the Chiefs Quarters
3. Unwilling to compromise my core beliefs or values
4. I want to pass down the lessons I have learned the hard way
5. To try and make a difference in my peoples lives
6. My desire to learn how to make the job better
7. Constant willingness to learn more
8. Sense of humor
9. I think leadership is best done from the front
10. My great singing voice

SO DID I :
Here are mine:

Ten reasons why my husband will make an AMAZING Chief Petty Officer

1. My husband will be a great mentor and role model to his sailors.
2. He understands that he is now the "go-to" guy for worried parents, spouses and children. He is in trust of their loved ones while deployed, at war and in everyday tasking. He will be accountable to them. He will be dedicated to them.
3. He will be dedicated to the sailors excellence. He will do anything to help them attain their goals.
4. He will always do the right thing. Not the popular thing. Thr right thing.
5. He understands the special responsibility to his comrades. He will check in with them both emotionally and physically. He will know how to empower them and strengthen them.
6. He is a fantastic leader - He leads by example. He will never ask a sailor to do something he hasn't done or wouldn't be willing to do.
7. He is a good teacher. Steady. Knowledgeable. Patient.
8. He is a family man. He was a single man for a long time first. He has experience with supporting both lifestyles. This gives him diversity and knowledge to be understanding and helpful to his team.
9. He loves what he does. He is proud to be part of the US Navy. He will inspire his team to feel the same way. He will show them why a positive attitude makes everything much more manageable.
10. He never settles. He always shoots higher. He will want to be the best and most knowledgeable at his job. He will continue to learn and better himself.


PROUD WIFE,
Samantha

Certified~

My own ( very small in comparison to my husband ) success: I certified this weekend. I will be presenting the High School program- Making High School Count this next semester.

No easy task- as a VETERAN- We didn't get to only present two segments of the presentation- Oh no no no. Our task? Pretend you got to the presentation and instead of the 50 minutes you should have- You have 25. Show us the shortening techniques you would use.

Ready Go.

I was ( thankfully ) VERY prepared script wise. Knew it cold.
Did well and certified.

Already have a few presentations booked. Ultra psyched for a great semester.

CONGRATS to my other vets. It was an amazing uplifting weekend as always. You all rock. It was great to be with you all for a weekend of "me's".

Samantha ( favorite part of the script- Oh and by the way... to get it done in the classroom- you have to be IN THE CLASSROOM(insert sassy here) - haha. Until next semester road warriors...until next semester....

CHIEF- WOOOHOOO

Joey made it.

For any enlisted submarine wife- You know WHAT a huge deal this is in our lives. I cried when Jeannie called me at the airport... ( I was on my way to Indy - and still in INDY for MIC training- so more on the whole chief and what it means things later! ) I am so proud- we were an EP (early promote) and STILL Joe made it. He is the only one to make it on the boat- so the "reindeer games" have already begun- You should see some of the requests for information I'm getting in email- I feel bad for him but AM so excited that he's taking part in it- and almost sad... I can't be right there... Of course I got the following email- which just produced more tears:

I am glad that I made it and it's due in no small fact to you, if it wasnt for you I would never be able to live this life and do well at it. You are the most important factor helping me get through this. I love you very much and I am glad we got to do this together, in the spirit of together I need some help....


Words couldn't explain how much I love this man. I am truly blessed to be married to him. I am so glad he picked me to spend the rest of his life with!

I'm sad to know - I can't pin him. His COB will more then likely do the job. I was promised pictures too!

CONGRATS to JOE!


Love-Samantha